Friday, June 21, 2013

I Check My Privilege at the Door

What's on my mind? Racism and the myth of "reverse racism." There is only ONE kind of racism, the kind where one person judges another negatively based on their perceived race or cultural background. It's tiring to explain to people that I can properly check my own "white privilege" at the door of any good conversation, despite my assumed brainwashing into believing I'm better than anyone that's not from a background that is the same or similar to my own. I tire of being judged on sight, as I'm sure many people do. If I'm having a bad day, I don't take it out on everyone around me (at least, not on purpose,) and I still treat others with respect until they turn into a jerk.

I applaud anyone speaking and acting against racism of all kinds and their work towards reducing not only "white privilege" but "minority privilege." No one group is BETTER than another and no one person is BETTER than another because of the color of their skin or perceived race, religion, creed, and/or moral beliefs. If someone's a jerk to me, I don't feel the need to coddle or give them my loyalty and respect just because they exist. The same goes for those I see tearing down another due to their perceived racial/cultural/religious/moral beliefs, ESPECIALLY when the jerk doesn't take into account the mutability and fluidity of culture in the internet age.

 Saying "white girls aren't allowed to twerk" (a dance act where voluptuous girls shake their rumps very seductively) because they don't have the right color of skin is rude and close-minded. Saying "girls that appreciate hip hop and aggressive dance styles should feel free to twerk it on the dance floor" accepts that the "white girl" in question has an appreciation for the style and music and is expressing it in an acceptable fashion. Miley Cyrus has a horrible video out (not just for this point, but for many: faux-lesbianism, women purely as sex objects, and telling the producer and writer she wants something that sounds "black.") She's a jerk, not out of racist animosity, but out of unchecked white privilege.

This is NOT to mean that I can accept cultural or religious appropriation in all, or even most, circumstances. For example: I choose not to wear crosses of any kind or buy cross prints, despite the trendiness of it, I find it boorish to wear someone's religious symbol as a mere fashion statement. Hijab (the traditionally Muslim act of wearing very modest and concealing clothing, including headscarves) is not something to take on without the purpose of focusing your energy on becoming truly modest. I feel the same way about non-Native people wearing a feathered headdress for the sole purpose of selling a non-related product, it's just wrong and gross. Wearing traditionally native garments out of respect for the culture and/or religion is different, just as bead weaving on a loom is a practice that has evolved to be used independently from Native culture despite being largely created by them.

I grew up near an Air Force Base and knew kids of many colors and creeds while I was in school there. Two of mine and my brother's best friends were Native kids that came from "The Rez" (the reservation) and we were all offered a studies class about our state, largely based on the Native culture that exists around us. Not only did we get to eat delicious frybread, we got to visit the sweat lodges and see colorful Pow-Wows. I loved the jingle dresses in beautiful blues with shiny metal cones that moved and jingled as the girls danced. Not to forget the cute boys in colorful pants, armbands, gloriously decorated vests, and  magnificent feathered headdresses!

I have compassion for those that are different from me in culture and color and an understanding of what negative experiences they have had in their lives. I treat "white" and "colored/non-white" people the same and don't put judgments on them until they show their own personality and actions. I don't love racial stereotypes for many reasons, the most pressing of which being that I've seen them to be false more than I've seen them to be true. Now, if I could only get the militant believers of the "reverse racism" myth that believe that I will use my "white privilege" against them simply because I can't know better due to being "white" to see things as neutrally as I do, as I truly do, I think our world could be a lot more open in communication and understanding.

Being told "Stop, white girl, stop" when I'm defending the fact that non-middle eastern people can be Hindus and wear bindis just pisses me off. It's like no matter what I say or do, that person is going to see me giving a neutral reminder of "appearances aren't always what they seem" as "we white people can do whatever we want because we see no problem with it." I SWEAR I'm not being a jackass. I SWEAR I've actually given this topic quite a lot of thought. I SWEAR I don't stereotype people based on their apparent beliefs. I judge people based on their bad grammar, bad attitudes, racist ideologies, and general asshattery instead of anything I assume of them from their picture online.

 I'm not writing this for "Oh noes, I feel put upon for the first time in my life! Living as the majority race is SO HARD, guys, like, OMG, I'm being oppressed by being limited in any way whatsoever!" No. No, no NO! HELL no! I know I look like the majority; my skin is incredibly pasty, I speak English (and German,) I have straight hair, I wear normal-looking clothing compared to those around me, I drive a shitty van, I drive a nice sports car, I like to present myself nicely to other people, and I'm generally "Minnesota/North Dakota nice." I'm also very short (under 5',) very curvy (buxom,) female (I have a stereotypically female body,) cis-gendered (I'm married to a man,) feminine (I love makeup and pretty things,) talented (I dabble in a little of everything,) and I have college education (BS in Psychology incoming.) Being noticeably how I am, I get judged by others just for existing.

My religious beliefs, sexual preference, love of learning, acceptance of others' differences, and ability to maintain a simple thought in my head are all assumptions made about me before I have a chance to speak or act. I come from European peasant stock. Many of my people were slaves or unhappy starving masses working for a feudal lord. I have a vagina and I look stereotypically like the sex I was born with. Many people, men and women, make assumptions about me due to my apparent femininity. My size makes people think they have the right to call me "midget," despite it being HIGHLY offensive, and insist that I can be classified as a "legal midget" since my height is under 5'. All false, there is no such legal term, and dwarfism/achondroplasia is a condition where a person is genetically formed to maintain a much smaller stature than the average human with different proportions based on the sub-type, and it's NOT a disability. My size isn't a disability, either.

Not being a Christian doesn't mean I believe in anarchy and worship Satan/Lucifer/teh DEBIL/Baal/Beelzebub/evil things or that I don't have sound morals. My moral base is strikingly similar to most Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Satanists, and Pagans (mostly the friendly Pagan types) where the #1 rule is "And it harm none, do what you will," followed very closely by "Treat others as you would like to be treated," and a third a little farther behind being "You reap what you sow." I start at neutral and move into enthusiasm and curiosity as I get a better feel for what I see/hear/feel/experience, which is what I expect from others.

So one of the longest rants ever with a few related tangents thrown in is mostly done. Here, I feel more free to express myself. Facebook posts this long are ignored or seen as either ignorant or pretentious, Twitter has 140 character limits, Instagram just isn't the place for rants, Tumblr is so impersonal and is so likely to be taken as snippets out of context, but a personal blog is just right. Now, If I'm to go off on a seemingly racist/sexist/negative-judgment-ish tangent, I expect my friends and family to tap me on the shoulder and ask me if I meant to sound mean and like a jerk. Strangers, not so much. Common courtesy is to accept that I do my best to be awesome and accepting and compassionate to others and that I don't mean to attack people for their race/color/creed. Jerks, on the other hand, I can't guarantee the same. I respond well to neutral statements and scientific stuff (I'm a total scientific study nerd, ESPECIALLY when it has to do with psychology.) I may have a very dry sense of humor sometimes, but I try my best to convey the sarcasm or lighter tone in my online correspondence. In person, I'm told it's difficult to tell that I made a joke. I need to start saying "Ha. Ha." afterwards.

Peace out! Love, Loyalty, Respect, Adaptability,
~Emily

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